Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Anchor for my Soul

I went to the jetty a few weeks ago to get my head straight. I was overwhelmed. I couldn't understand why God wasn't answering very specific prayers. I had begun to think that if I did everything right, then God would just do what I asked him to do. I felt an immense need to take control. I was spiraling in anxiety and asked my husband to pray for me. He held me close and prayed that I make time that day to just be with God. "Maybe she can go to the jetty to just unwind and be with you, Lord," he prayed. And so that's exactly what I did.

I brought my journal and a favorite pen and sat down to write and think and pray and listen. But five minutes later, a very vocal older man plopped down his chair right next to me. He complained about the weather, the fisherman, the boaters and anything else he could think of and tried over and over again to engage me in conversation. I tried to politely smile and go back to my journal but it wasn't working. My frustration was mounting until he yelled, "What in the hell are they thinking!?" My eyes shot up to see a yacht with the engine stalled.

The jetty is a narrow water way that leads from the Intracoastal Waterway into the Gulf of Mexico. It's lined with rocks on both sides and the yacht was inching its way toward the rocks. I felt a gentle urging from God to pay attention. The young men on the boat were obviously inexperienced boaters and they lowered the anchor but not enough. The boat continued to drift. Men on both sides of the jetty yelled out to the boaters, "You have to let out more line! The anchor didn't catch!!" The young men rushed back to the front of the boat to try to set the anchor. As soon as the anchor caught, the engine restarted.

I felt God impressing on my heart, "I am your anchor but I cannot protect you from the rocks if you don't give me enough line." I almost lost my breath - That's how struck I was with God's wisdom. The one thing I did have control of was my trust in Him. I had to give him the line. I felt a tear drip down my face and suddenly was aware that I was crying tears of relief. He never stopped holding me in his hands.

When I got home, I checked to see if there were verses about anchors and found this from Hebrews 6:19 "We have this hope as an anchor for our soul". My pastor told me that an anchor needs three times the depth of the water in order to be secured. Three times. That's a lot of line. And so, each day I am working to give him control. My beautiful sister bought me an anchor charm to wear and remind myself everyday that Jesus is the anchor for my soul. When my chest tightens, I simply touch it and am filled with awe and wonder at God's endless love for us.

Is there a prayer that isn't being answered in your life? Remember that He's a good good father and even if he says no, he loves you endlessly. Give him control today. Give him the line. He will protect you from the rocks.

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