Thursday, January 28, 2016

Be the Person...

My husband and I attended a marriage seminar a few years ago and one action statement has stayed with him. "Be the person you want your children to be". He has lived with it in the back of his mind, sure he wanted to do it but unsure how to execute it. I was completely unaware of all of this until this week when he came back from a business trip.

"I need to talk to you about something," he began.
I froze for a moment. I never like conversations that start that way.
"At our training, they asked me, 'What are you for?' In other words, what do I care about, what am I passionate about in regards to family. That statement from Weekend to Remember..."Be the person you want your children to be?" That's the one that jumped out in my mind. I realized that I'm really good at that in certain areas but not in others. I know I'm really hard on Luke. He wants my approval so much and I don't think I'm great at giving it. And I get so distracted by the iPad or work...stuff that can wait, you know? I don't want to do that anymore. I want to be more positive, more present."

I realized I had been holding my breath. This is something I had hoped for and prayed for for longer than I can even remember. "You are already an amazing dad but this change will make a huge impact on their lives. How can I help you?"

We came up with an idea that, interestingly, he had heard in his training and I had heard at a mom's group that week. We decided to spend our dinner time "filling their buckets". We choose one person per night (parents included) and each say one affirming statement about that person. We tell them what we love about them, what is cool or interesting or unique about them and watch their faces light up with these words of truth. 

My husband has stashed his electronics and has been saying yes to playing. He is feeling frustration bubble up, recognizing and bringing it back down before he talks to the kids. "Change is hard, but it makes it a lot easier when I focus on the impact I'm making on the people I love," he shared with me this morning. I teared up, realizing that this is real - He's really going to do this for us. Our family will be even richer in love because of it.

We all want to be the person we want our children to become but the execution is difficult. Have an open conversation today about something you'd like to work on and improve. Find an accountability partner and come up with a plan together. Your family will be richer in love because of it.

1 comment:

  1. Dane is a wonderful person and father. I never doubted his ability to be the greatest Dad ever!! You go Dane....Love You!!

    ReplyDelete

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