Sunday, September 6, 2015

What is Sacred?

I am overcommitted. That's the conclusion I have come to after examining the anxiety that has been creeping up in my chest over the past few weeks. I wake up at 4 AM thinking about something I can't forget to do only to get a text later that day that I missed a doctor's appointment or never followed up on that thing.  I'm flooded with guilt each time I realize I missed something. "I need to get more organized!" I will think. I put everything in my calendar and make a master to do list. I stare at it, overwhelmed. "Exactly when will I have time to do any of this?" I wonder. The anxiety creeps back it. There has to be a better way.

I had coffee with my mom this morning and unloaded my list. "Luke has a lot more work now that he's in second grade and Drew is doing more work in PreK. Teaching co-op takes a lot of time to organize. I've promised to fundraise more for High Risk Hope and I don't know where to start. I do, but I can't seem to get it together enough to start. We're talking about selling the house...The list went on and on. She listened patiently. "Enough about me," I said. "Tell me about you."

She shared some of her concerns that, interestingly paralleled mine. We were both talking about how time is a finite resource and every thing is pulling at it. "Well, it sounds like you need to figure out what is sacred to you," I said to my mom. "Is an hour over coffee with Dad sacred and non-negotiable? Is Friday night your night with friends? Do you need to make sure you are both home for dinner every night? Once you get that figured out, maybe it will give you more breathing room," I suggested. She took out a notepad and paper and started listing all the things that were sacred to her. Things that she wouldn't let obligations rob from her. As I watched her write, I realized that I needed to do exactly the same thing.

Time with my husband in the morning is paramount. Making time to homeschool my kids and play with them each and every day matters to me. Singing for my church fills me up with love for God each and every week. All these things are necessary. They are sacred. The other things will happen in between, if that is God's will. My prayer this week is going to be, "Lord help my work for co-op and High Risk Hope and the house get done while I focus my attention at home. Keep my focus on those things that are sacred to me." I have faith that he will do that. His resources are anything but finite.

Are your obligations robbing you of the things you hold most sacred? Take some time today to list out what matters most. How can you rearrange life to have your time reflect your priorities?

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