Monday, September 8, 2014

Not So Quiet Time

Quiet time is the invention of mothers like me who can't bear the thought of naps being over.  While the younger children sleep, it is my hope that my five year old will sit quietly on his own and read, draw pictures or even sleep.  This works well on most days.  Last week, it did not.

I put my daughter down for her nap and went downstairs to read for a bit.  I had gotten all of them to rest at the same time and I began celebrating my good fortune.  Anything was possible for the next hour!  And then I heard the thumping of little footsteps.  I let it go at first - One of them probably had to go the bathroom.  I went back to the book I'd been wanting to read.  A few minutes later I heard, "thump thump thump" again.  "They must be going right back to bed!" I thought and I silently praised myself for raising such well mannered children.  And then the thumping began again.

"Luke?  Drew?" I called up the stairs.  "Are you guys still up?"
"I just had to poop!" my oldest yelled down.
"Okay - You've been in there awhile.  Are you alright?" 
"No!  I got poop on my hands!!  I tried everything to get it off!" he said with frustration.  "It didn't even come off when I wiped it on the walls!"

Do you know those moments of parenthood where time stands still?  It starts with disbelief.  "Did he really just say he wiped poop on the walls??"  It moves to anger.  "I have to clean poop off the walls when I just wanted to read a book for ten minutes!!"  Then you end with acceptance.  "Let's get this over with."

I trudged up the stairs, still in the anger phase.  "Luke!  Tell me why you thought it was a good idea to wipe the poop on the walls!"  I asked.  Seeing my intense displeasure, he began working his defense. "I tried everything, Mommy!  Toilet paper and wipes and everything!" he exclaimed.
"Lay down while I clean this up.  I love you but I'm very mad about this mess."  I said

As I scrubbed the wall that was literally covered in poo, I began to move to acceptance.  I didn't want to clean it up but this is part of the job. He was trying to solve a problem even if it was a terrible way to do it.  I walked out to the living room where he was pretend sleeping on the couch.  "Hey buddy," I began.  "Next time that happens, try washing your hands in the sink okay?" 
"Oh that's a great idea!" he exclaimed.  "I probably should do that now...Look, there's a little more right there."  

Parenthood is gross.  No two ways about it.  But it is also hilarious.  This story will forever live in our family and I guarantee that it will always give us the giggles.  

What are some of your funniest/grossest moments of parenthood?  Share them tonight (after dinner, of course) and have a little laugh together.

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