Monday, June 23, 2014

What Do You Need?

My baby is sleeping terribly.  This child that was so wanted and is so loved is being cursed as I thump up the stairs for the third time to feed her in the middle of the night.  I feel as if I am in a 24 hour cycle of living and I am beginning to have trouble thinking clearly.  Gone are the days were she would just sleep on my chest as the boys took their afternoon nap.  Now she is ready for action.  Why do I tell you all of this?  I promise it is not just to complain (although I did cry when I dropped coffee grounds on the floor the other day and maybe I let a tear fall when I looked at our laundry hamper...).  I am telling you this because I want you to feel normal when you cry over the simplest things and to tell you what a blessing it can be to get some help.

My mom and I have a standing date on Wednesdays.  I come to her house with the kids or she comes over to mine and we play and talk while the kids do all the things I never let them do. They watch endless TV with fistfuls of lollipops and fruit roll-ups and my mom and I have a moment to catch up.  This week, we decided to take one room in my house and freshen it up.  

We wanted to move things around, declutter and maybe dream up some paint colors or upholstery ideas.  We started moving furniture in the dining room and the baby woke up from her nap.  (She has a sixth sense for these kind of things.) My mom strapped her in the Baby Bjorn and we went back to work.  I stared at the dining room blankly.  "I can't think of anything to do in here, Mom.  I don't even know where to start," I said with a sense of defeat.  "Oh we'll find something fun.  Let's look around the house!" she said with enthusiasm.  My boys called for her attention and I went on a treasure hunt through the house.  I walked into another room and just stood staring.  She found me there and asked if I was okay.  "Just a little foggy.  And really really really tired.  But I can do it!" I said trying to muster some energy.  "Honey, you don't need to.  Let's get the boys in bed then you lay down," she said.  I wanted to argue.  I wanted to do something fun and creative and enjoy it.  But I just couldn't do it at the moment.  I was toast.

I took her advice and woke up to a freshened up dining room and a cleaned up house.  The dishwasher was humming and two loads of laundry were folded on the dryer.  That's when I teared up in earnest.  Because of her loving gestures, I was able to just sit and enjoy my babies for the afternoon instead of running around trying to catch up from the morning mess.  Because of her loving gestures, I felt wrapped in a warm hug.  

Sometimes it's hard to admit when you've had enough.  We feel like we are supposed to be the one that never quits.  And maybe we are.  But is that fair?  Is that really and truly the best thing?  If we don't rest, take time for ourselves and let the ones that we love help us, we cannot be at our best.  We will not be at our best.  There's nothing wrong with admitting a need.  Having it met will only make you stronger.

What do you need today?  How can you ask for help or take the time you need to get it?  No guilt allowed.

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