Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Already Done

It's been almost exactly three weeks since our daughter was born and I have found myself frustrated with the healing process.  This was my first c-section and the recovery has been so much more painful than my previous two deliveries.  I have had a tremendous amount of help from my family and my church but I am ready to just be normal.  I'm ready to do laundry without cringing, to make it up the stairs without stopping to giving myself a "you can do it" pep talk and to run around and wrestle with my boys. They are ready, too.  My oldest told me yesterday that he feels like I don't love him as much since his sister was born.  He said it was because I'm not "playing with him like I used to."  Nothing like your children's disappointment to make you even harder on yourself, right?  But I read something the other day that made me stop and think.

I read Jesus Calling each day and I always get at least one sentence that resonates.  It's written as if Jesus is talking directly to you and the words are beautiful, comforting and sometimes challenging.  The other day I read a passage that called me to stop focusing on what hasn't happened yet.  It said to focus on what "I have already done".  So I tried to do exactly that and my eyes were suddenly opened.

Three weeks ago, I cried each time I had to get up out of my bed.  My daughter was in an incubator and unable to come home.  Just two weeks ago, my sons were visiting me in the hospital then leaving a short hour later.  I was holding on to them, trying to fight back tears because I missed them so much it hurt.  And one week ago, I could not even do the dishes without feeling completely wiped out.  Now, I am able to drive, walk, and hug all of my children at the same time.  I can do a half decent job with housekeeping and child rearing without feeling as if my insides are in knots.  I may not be 100%, but I have made tremendous strides in three weeks.  God has done that for me.  

While the frustration still gets to me at times, I'm trying so hard to focus on what He has already done.  It's amazing, really.  And I am so thankful.  Now if he could just do something about those sleepless nights...

Are you going through a challenging period in your life?  What has God "already done" for you?

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