Sunday, January 26, 2014

Your Smiling Face

This pregnancy has been very stressful over the last month.  Worries about premature delivery, anemia and blood transfusions have sent me into a tailspin of sorts.  I feel completely together for a few days then I turn into a blubbering mess when something small prompts my worried heart to reactivate.  I have known all along that our goal was to get to 36 or 37 weeks.  The scan this week would tell us if we would be able to make that goal happen.
I went in for an ultrasound at 33 1/2 weeks and we were there to check the blood flow to her brain.  If it sped up too much, it was a sign of anemia.  That would mean that I would be checked into the hospital for an inter uterine transfusion and we would need to make a plan for an early delivery.  A lot was riding on the ultrasound results.  Generally we see an ultrasound tech first then meet with the doctor after the scan.  This time, the doctor was waiting in the ultrasound room to calculate the numbers as soon as she had them.  Apparently she was as anxious as we were.  My husband clutched my hand as she plugged the blood flow numbers into the formula.  Suddenly I heard her take a deep sigh then say, "We're good!  We're in the healthy baby range!  See you in two weeks."  

My husband and I both had tears spring into our eyes and I felt all my worry begin to dissipate.  Each muscle relaxed and I realized I hadn't felt that way in a month.  The ultrasound tech looked at us and said, "Now that the hard part is over, let's play a little!"  She switched the machine to 3D mode and we were able to see our daughter's face for the very first time.

She was so beautiful and so full of life.  She was everything I had dreamed she would be.  If I thought I was in love with her before, this increased that love more than I thought my heart could hold.  We watched her yawn then laugh at the silliness of it.  We watched her breathing in and out and sticking her tongue out of her mouth.  She was so...real.

On my way home, the James Taylor song, "Smiling Face" came on and I cried in earnest.  I cried for answered prayers, for the gift of her smile and for the gift of her life.  I will never hear that song again without thinking of my sweet girl.  I feel truly blessed.

What answered prayers have you experienced lately?  Take some time today to remember and say a quick thank you to God for them.

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