Friday, June 21, 2013

Hey, It's OK to Act Crazy Sometimes

We went to the dentist this morning with every intention of spending the rest of the day playing in the fountains at a nearby park. I packed a lunch and some bathing suits for us and we set about our day.  My little one yawned as I buckled him into his car seat.  "You tired, bud?" I asked him.  "Tired.  Yes.  Bed," he said.  I just figured he was still a little off from his ear infection so we went ahead to the dentist.

Everything went as planned until I walked up to the desk to pay.  My little one was asking to be held so I picked him up and felt a scolding hot baby.  I asked the receptionist if they had a thermometer (odd question for a dentist, right?) and they did.  It registered at 103.9.  I felt panicked and worried what kind of horrible thing was attacking my baby while he was on antibiotics.  As my mind swirled with possibilities (Strep?  An antibiotic resistant bacteria?  Something I have never heard of that could be awful and painful and cause hospital stays?)  my oldest one had decided to slow down to molasses speed.

"C'mon Luke," I said.  "We've got to get your brother to the doctor.  He's very sick."  

"Yeah, but I really wanted to check out the view," he said as he climbed a bench in the doctor's office.  On most days, this would be endearing.  At that moment, I wanted to put a rocket in his pants and get my little one to the doctor.  I tried again.  "Luke.  We're leaving.  You can push the elevator button if you'd like." 

"Oh, okay!  I'll push the button.  But Mommy, could you stop using your mean voice?" he asked.

I hate it when he catches me being an ass even when I'm trying so very hard to be patient.  Maybe it's because I say nice words through clenched jaws and feel like breathing fire.  Anyway, I agree to try and be nicer if he would just get. in. the. car.

He dutifully climbed into the car only to start messing around with the balloon the dentist had given him.  My toddler was roasting with a 104 degree fever in 91 degree heat with 98% humidity and I had zero patience.  "Give me the balloon.  That's it. Buckle your seat belt - We are leaving!" I said as I closed his door.

That's when the tears started pouring from my oldest son's eyes.  Usually they make me feel bad but today I was so exasperated that he was demanding so much attention when my toddler was the one who truly needed it.  I sat in the parking lot taking deep breaths until I felt like I could talk without my mean voice.  Truth be told, my son wasn't disobeying.  He wasn't doing anything out of line.  He was just moving slowly at a point in time that I wanted things to happen fast.  "I'm sorry, love.  I'm worried about Drew and I am taking it out on you.  I apologize," I said.

"Oh that's okay, Mommy," he said as he wiped his tear stained cheeks.  "I love you just the way you are." 

After an hour wait, we made it to the doctor and found out my little one just has a virus and a sore throat.  All should be well in a few days.  It was truly much ado about nothing.  But even if you had told me that in the middle of it, I would have blown right past you and told you to back off.  Sometimes I guess we just have to act crazy.  It's all part of the ride.

When was the last time you felt bad about your reaction to your children?  

1 comment:

  1. I have many of those days :) With two boys, they can be a handful in public. Sometimes by patience isn't as great as I would like it to be!


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