Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Happy Engagement

Do you remember when you got engaged?  I know I do.   My husband planned an elaborate evening and proposed to me amid a blaze of candlelight and rose petals.  He led me to a room with my family who had secretly flown in from Ohio along with all of our friends.   Everyone spent the night toasting to our future and wishing us all the happiness in the world.

I was given the gift of being invited to an engagement this weekend at a vineyard.  As I watched the newly engaged couple wiping away tears of happiness, I started thinking.  

There were twenty people waiting to congratulate them.  Each of us were from different parts of their lives.  Family, co-workers and friends mingled and talked about how we know the couple.  Some, like me, have known them since childhood.  Some have met them in the past few years as they have navigated life as a couple.  But we all shared one thing in common - A wish to support them.

My husband and I had three engagement parties, two showers (I know, I know...a little over the top) and a big wedding but I didn't get the true point of it until today.  You see, we need all those people cheering us on, letting us know they believe in us as a couple and showing us that they will support us throughout our marriage.  But for some reason, the fanfare stops there.  Five years, ten years, twenty five years later...We forget that those same people are there, ready to support us.

Marriage is tough.  Even the very best marriages challenge you as a person because you are constantly trying to navigate wants and needs and feelings and obligations.  You love each other, you are fully committed to each other and yet, sometimes it can feel like such a job.  We need the people in our lives that have been there from the beginning to remind us where we began and where we can go if we turn to each other.  

I got out my wedding album tonight with my son and saw so much love in everyone's faces.  While some of those relationships have evolved and changed, most are still rock solid.  Tonight, I am thankful for all of the people who have supported our marriage through all the parties (great gifts...Still loving the loot from Crate and Barrel), the birth of our children and the everyday challenges of life.  We wouldn't be here without you.

Take a moment to remember your engagement and wedding.  What kind of support can all of the people that celebrated with you provide?


  1. My husband and I got engaged during grad school, so it was very low key :) I like it that way though, since I get very nervous in front of crowds!

  2. That's wonderful that he knows you well enough to propose exactly the way you would want it. Ain't love grand?


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