Monday, February 4, 2013

Mommy, Please Don't Sing

As many of you know, I love to sing.  I sing in front of our church each Sunday and I won't hesitate to belt out a song anytime a good one comes on the radio.  My son hates it.  "Mommy!  Please don't sing!  Please!!" he says passionately.

I tell him I enjoy singing; it makes me happy.  This does nothing to dissuade him.  "I just don't like it!" he insists.  So we made a deal.  If it is my music, I can sing.  If it is his music, I won't.  This worked better when he was into nursery rhymes and Mickey Mouse.  These days, the lines are becoming blurred.

Taylor Swift came on and I started singing.  "This is my music so please don't sing," he stated with complete authority.  "OK, fine,"  I told him, "but I'm going to sing the next one.  We'll take turns.  Deal?"  He agreed to the terms and we settled into listen to Taylor talk about yet another man who has broken her heart.  My mind started to wander to other things when suddenly my son's voice broke through my thoughts.

"Mommy, why didn't they get married?  Why didn't he love her?" he asked.  "Who?" I asked, surprised he would be thinking about such a subject.  "The girl.  The one singing.  She's crying because he didn't love her. Why not?"

 We started a conversation about love and marriage that I thought would have waited until his teen years.  It was such a great discussion and I realized that he was listening to every word she was singing.  "Is that why you don't want me to sing, bud?  Because you like to hear the words of the song?"  I asked him.  "Yeah, I like the stories," he replied.  It reminded me how much they are always listening.  It does matter what we say in front of them, what we listen to and what we watch.  They are absorbing every bit of it and trying to make sense of it in their minds.  If we listen just as well as they do, we may find all kinds of opportunities to talk about the things we want them to know about life, love and everything after.

Pay attention to what your kids are exposed to this week and ask them questions about it.  Their answers just might surprise you.

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