Thursday, February 7, 2013

Don't Change a Thing

My husband is traveling this week to be recognized for his tremendous achievements in sales.  His week is filled with meetings, training and awards dinners all designed to keep the team motivated for another banner year.  You would think that he would love the break but truly, his heart is at home and he wants to get back to us.  His sons feel the same.

My oldest struggles when he travels and this time has been no exception.  He has been weepy (VERY unlike him) and asking for hugs and snuggles all the time.  I said to him today, "I will really miss you guys when you are big but I can't wait to see all the cool things you are going to do."  He instantly burst into tears.

"I will miss being little, too, Mommy!  I will miss it!  It will mean I have to be away from you.  And from DADDY!!!" he cried.

It's as if I was dealing with myself before my period.  OK, that sounds like I wasn't very sympathetic.  I was very sympathetic but I felt like I was running out of options.  Almost everything I said was making him cry or causing him to act out toward his brother.

I went to Bible study today and I asked a woman who had raised three boys her advice.  She said that he is so smart and so in tune with the world around him that he likes routine to stay the same.  Any shift in routine causes him upset until that routine has been restored.  She suggested keeping him very busy with other things that made it less apparent that Daddy was missing in the daily round.

We came home from Bible study and my oldest began crying again.  Our house was cleaned today and they had moved some of his things.  "But they CAN'T DO THAT!" he cried.  "They can't just change things.  They aren't allowed."  I realized right then and there that she was right.  This was all about feeling out of control.  He can't decide whether or not his daddy has to go on business trips but he can decide if Pooh bear is on the bed or on the shelf.  He can decide what he eats for lunch or what book is read to him.

I don't have all the answers about how to handle my sweet, sensitive boy right now but I do understand what I can help him learn to do.  Accept change.  Roll with it.  Understand that sometimes, life can't be controlled and that's one of the biggest challenges and blessings in all of our lives.  Wish me luck and mail me some tissues.  It's going to be a long few days with my guy.

2 comments:

  1. Let us know if you need anything..there should be a little something in the mail today from Ryan. Hopefully, that will cheer him up a bit! :)

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Sandy! I definitely will. I got your love bugs in the mail today and can't wait to show the boys. Tell Ryan she has her mother's gift for creativity! XO

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