Thursday, February 28, 2013

Bad Mom Moment

This morning I was a bad mom.  Not a terrible mom but a very impatient one.  I have one day a week with a sitter and today is the day.  My husband is out of town and I needed to figure out how to do our normal routine without the help of my VERY helpful husband.  I know many of you do this every day.  Let me tell you, I am very impressed.

It started out alright.  We were getting dressed, brushing teeth and hanging out in the playroom.  Then my little one started crying.  "DADA!!  DADA!!  GONE!!" he cried with a passion I haven't showed since a high school break-up.  "I know, baby, but he'll be back at dinner.  Let's play trains!" I said to try and move him to a new subject.  But the tears wouldn't stop.  They continued as I fed him breakfast, kissed him, hugged him and ignored him.  He was inconsolable.

When my youngest requires this amount of attention, it is a signal to my oldest to bring out his most demanding behavior.  He, after all, deserves some of the spotlight, too.  He started a jumping on my bed as I tried to braid my hair with my youngest clinging to my leg.  "Look at me, Mommy!  Watch me do a flip!" he yelled.

"Luke, you know you can't jump without me in there.  Get down," I said.

"No.  I will not get down," he said matching my tone exactly.

At this point, my youngest was hysterical with snot and tears blending on his face.  He looked like he had been slimed.  I couldn't hold him and braid my hair so I gave up, picked him up and said, "THAT IS IT.  I NEED FIVE MINUTES.  THAT'S IT.  GET IN THE LIVING ROOM.  NOW."

While I didn't yell, I used a tone generally reserved for major infractions. OK, maybe I yelled.  My oldest jumped off the bed and ran to the living room.  My youngest abruptly stopped crying and just stared at me wondering what happened to his real mother.  Then the guilt came flowing in.  How could I lose my patience so quickly?

My husband called once they had settled down and I told on myself.  "I was super impatient with the boys this morning.  I even yelled at them," I admitted.

"You know what, babe," he said, "It's like you were at the last day of school and you knew that the bell was ringing at 9 AM.  You couldn't even think about your  work, you were just waiting for the bell to ring.  I get it.  We all have those days."

Did I mention that I love him?  He's right.  We do all have those days when it just gets to be too much.  It's a sign that we need a break.  That we have done too much for everyone else and not enough for ourselves.  I have a friend that says that she wants her kids to see her mad sometimes because that's real life.  Maybe she's right.  I'm just glad that I have a break today so that their real mom can come home tonight.

How do you get over the guilt of your "bad mom" moments?  Do you have someone to go to that helps you to know when it's time to take a break for yourself?

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